Reunions always start the same way. Someone says "we should get everyone together" at a funeral, a wedding or in a group chat at 11pm, everyone agrees, and then nothing happens because nobody knows where half the people are. If you're the one who's decided to make it happen, well done. This guide is for you.

Whether it's your school year, your university halls or the extended family who haven't all been in the same room for a decade, the steps are much the same: find people, pick a date, collect replies, book somewhere, sort the money and keep everyone in the loop.

Step one: form a small committee

Don't do it alone. Two to four organisers is ideal: enough to share the work, few enough to make decisions. For a school reunion, try to pick people from different friendship groups, because each one will know how to reach a different set of people. For a family reunion, one person from each branch of the family works well.

Agree early who's doing what: tracking people down, the venue, the money. It saves a lot of crossed wires.

Step two: track people down

This is usually the longest job, so start it first. Begin with a master list of everyone you'd like to invite, even the ones you have no idea how to reach yet.

Places to look:

Be respectful about it. If someone doesn't respond after a couple of attempts, leave it there. Not everyone wants to revisit school, and that's their choice.

Step three: collect contact details properly

Here's where most reunions go wrong. Contact details end up scattered across text messages, social media inboxes, scraps of paper and three different people's phones. Then nobody knows who's been told what.

Keep one master list (a shared spreadsheet is fine) with a name, the best way to reach them, whether they've been contacted and whether they've replied. Only share personal details with the people who need them, and ask permission before adding anyone to a big group chat. Plenty of people would rather receive an email than be dropped into a chat with sixty strangers.

Step four: pick a date

You will never find a date that suits everyone. Accept that now. The aim is a date that suits most people, announced early enough for them to plan around it.

Once the date's fixed, send a save the date straight away, even before every detail is confirmed.

Step five: choose a venue

Think about who's coming and what they'll want to do. A school reunion often suits a function room with a bar, where people can move around and chat. A family reunion with lots of children might work better in a hall, a large garden or a park with a covered area as a backup.

Practical questions to ask:

Step six: sort out the money

Money is the thing most likely to cause friction, so be open about it from the start.

Be kind to anyone who can't afford it. A quiet word and a discreet reduced price is better than losing someone you've spent weeks tracking down.

Step seven: collect RSVPs

Ask everyone to reply by a set date, about three to four weeks before the event. That gives you time to confirm numbers with the venue and chase anyone who's gone quiet. At the same time, ask about dietary needs and allergies, and for families, how many children are coming and their ages.

Personalised invitations help a lot here. With Every Gathering you can build a reunion page for free, send each household its own invitation with a PIN, and see replies and dietary needs come in on one list instead of across six inboxes.

Step eight: keep everyone updated

Silence makes people forget. A short update every few weeks keeps the reunion on everyone's mind and builds excitement:

Keep each update short, and send it the same way every time so people know where to look. Broadcast emails beat group chats for this, because important details don't get buried under two hundred messages of "OMG do you remember".

On the day

Afterwards, give people a place to share their photos so the memories don't vanish into individual phones. Then, inevitably, someone will say "we should do this again next year." This time, you'll know how.