Whether you're planning a wedding, a fiftieth birthday or a christening lunch, food is one of the things guests remember. It's also one of the few areas where getting it wrong can be genuinely serious. A forgotten vegetarian is awkward. A forgotten nut allergy is dangerous.
The fix isn't complicated. Ask the right question, at the right time, in a way that gets clear answers, then pass those answers on to your caterer in a format they can actually use. This guide walks you through each step.
Ask once, ask early
The best time to ask about dietary needs is when guests RSVP. They're already replying, so it's one more question rather than a separate message you'll have to chase. If you ask later, you'll get fewer answers and spend more time collecting them.
Ask every guest individually, not just the person replying. A mum confirming for a family of four might mention her own coeliac disease but forget that her son can't eat eggs. A personalised RSVP that lists each person by name and asks about each one gets far more complete answers.
The wording
Keep it friendly and make it clear you actually want to know. Something like this works well for most events:
Do you have any dietary requirements or food allergies?
Please tell us about anything at all — we'd much rather know.
[text box]
If you want a little more structure, split it into two questions:
Allergies or intolerances
Is there anything you must not eat for medical reasons? Please be as specific as you can.
[text box]
Dietary preferences
Vegetarian, vegan, no pork, halal, kosher, or anything else we should know?
[text box]
That split is the single most useful thing you can do, and there's a good reason for it.
Separate preferences from allergies
A preference and an allergy need very different handling in the kitchen. Someone who doesn't like mushrooms can pick them out. Someone with a severe allergy may react to a trace on a shared chopping board.
When you mix the two into one list, everything gets treated the same way, which means either the kitchen over-reacts to dislikes or, much worse, under-reacts to allergies. Keep them apart:
- Allergies and intolerances: medical. Coeliac disease, nut allergies, shellfish allergies, lactose intolerance and similar. These need careful preparation.
- Dietary choices: vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian. These need a suitable dish.
- Religious or cultural requirements: halal, kosher, no pork, no beef. These may need specific sourcing.
- Dislikes: nice to know, but optional. Don't feel obliged to cater for every one.
If a guest writes something vague, like "no dairy", it's worth a quick message to ask whether it's an allergy or a preference. It takes thirty seconds and makes a real difference to the kitchen.
The UK's 14 major allergens
UK food law requires food businesses to tell customers if any of 14 major allergens are in the food they serve. Your caterer will know these well, but it helps you to know them too, so you can ask sensible follow-up questions:
- Celery
- Cereals containing gluten (such as wheat, barley, rye and oats)
- Crustaceans (such as prawns, crab and lobster)
- Eggs
- Fish
- Lupin
- Milk
- Molluscs (such as mussels and oysters)
- Mustard
- Tree nuts (such as almonds, hazelnuts and walnuts)
- Peanuts
- Sesame
- Soya
- Sulphur dioxide and sulphites
Guests can, of course, be allergic to things not on this list. That's another reason to use an open text box rather than a set of tickboxes.
Handing it to the caterer clearly
Your caterer doesn't want a screenshot of a WhatsApp thread or a list scribbled on the back of an envelope. They want a clear, organised summary. The most useful version includes:
- Each guest's name, so dishes can be matched to people.
- Their table number, if you have a seating plan.
- Their meal choice, if you're offering options.
- Any allergy, clearly marked as an allergy, with the specific allergen named.
- Any dietary choice, listed separately.
- A total count for each requirement (for example, six vegetarian, two gluten-free, one nut allergy).
Send it in plenty of time, usually alongside your final numbers, and ask the caterer to confirm they've received it and can meet every requirement. If they can't safely cater for a particular allergy, you want to know weeks ahead, not on the day.
On Every Gathering, dietary and allergy answers are collected per guest as part of the RSVP, and you can download a catering export with names, tables, menu choices and requirements in one place, ready to send.
On-the-day labelling
All that careful collecting can come undone at the moment a plate leaves the kitchen. A few simple habits help:
- Mark place cards with a small, discreet symbol or initial for guests with special meals, so serving staff know who gets what.
- Label buffet dishes clearly, listing the main allergens in each. Keep serving spoons with their own dish.
- Brief a named person at the venue who knows where allergy meals are going and can answer questions.
- Don't forget the extras: canapes, desserts, the cake and late-night snacks all count.
- Tell guests with serious allergies who to ask on the day, so they never have to guess.
One last thing
Your guests with allergies have usually spent years explaining themselves at restaurants and parties. Being asked properly, in advance, and then finding their meal arrives exactly right is a small thing that means a lot. It's a quiet way of showing that you thought about them, and it lets them relax and actually enjoy the celebration.