A save the date does one job: it gets your event into people's diaries before something else does. It isn't the invitation, it doesn't need every detail, and it definitely doesn't need to be expensive. But send it at the wrong time, or to the wrong people, and you'll create problems you have to untangle later.
Here's what to send, when, who to send it to and what to say, whether you're planning a wedding, a big birthday, a reunion or a weekend away.
Do you actually need one?
Not every event needs a save the date. They're most useful when:
- The event is a long way off and the invitations won't go out for months.
- Guests need to travel, book accommodation or take time off work.
- It falls on a busy date, such as a bank holiday weekend or the run-up to Christmas.
- You're inviting people who have lots of commitments, like families with young children.
For a local party six weeks away, skip it and send the invitation. For a wedding, a milestone birthday abroad or a big family reunion, a save the date is well worth doing.
When to send them
Timing depends on the type of event and how much effort it takes to attend.
Weddings
Around six to twelve months before the day is the usual window. Closer to eight months is a comfortable middle ground for most UK weddings. Go earlier if your date is in peak summer, when guests may have several weddings in the diary.
Parties and celebrations
For a milestone birthday, anniversary, christening or reunion, two to four months is usually plenty. People don't need as much notice for an evening party, but a heads-up before the invitation helps if the date is significant.
Destination and weekend events
If guests need to fly, book several nights away or arrange childcare for a weekend, give them as long as you possibly can. Nine to twelve months is sensible, and some people send them even earlier. Flights and accommodation are easier to arrange the further ahead they're booked.
Who gets one
This is the golden rule: only send a save the date to people you are definitely going to invite. Once someone has one, they're on the list. Taking it back later is miserable for everyone.
That means you need a fairly settled guest list before you send them. If you're not sure about a group, such as work colleagues or plus-ones, hold off on them until you've decided. It's fine to send save the dates to your certain guests only and leave the maybes for the invitation stage.
Be clear about plus-ones and children from the start. If the save the date is addressed to "Tom and Sophie", Tom and Sophie are invited. If it says "The Patel Family", people will assume the children are too.
What to say
Keep it short. A save the date needs:
- Your names, or whose event it is
- The date
- The town or area, and the venue if it's confirmed
- A line saying an invitation will follow
- A link to your event website, if you have one
That's genuinely it. Save the timings, menus and dress code for the invitation.
Wording examples
Classic wedding
Save the date
for the wedding of
Emma Clarke & James Hughes
Saturday 14 June
Yorkshire
Formal invitation to follow
Relaxed and friendly
We're getting married!
Keep Saturday 14 June free — we'd love you there.
Invitation and details to follow. In the meantime, see [website URL]
Milestone birthday
Save the date
Sarah is turning 40
Saturday 7 March, Manchester
Party details coming soon
Reunion
It's been 20 years. Let's get everyone back together.
Class of 2006 reunion
Saturday 12 September, Bristol
Full details and RSVP to follow at [website URL]
Destination or weekend event
Save the date
Join us for a weekend celebration in the Lake District
Friday 4 – Sunday 6 July
We're giving you plenty of notice so you can plan travel and time off.
Accommodation details and invitation to follow at [website URL]
Digital or printed?
Both are perfectly acceptable now. Choose based on your guests and your budget.
Printed save the dates feel special and often end up stuck to the fridge, which is exactly where you want them. They suit formal weddings and older relatives who prefer something through the letterbox. The downsides are cost, postage, the time it takes to gather addresses, and the fact that you can't update them.
Digital save the dates are quick, free or cheap, and easy to send to people abroad. You can link straight to a website with more information, and you know when they've gone out. They're ideal for parties, reunions and anything with a younger guest list.
Plenty of people do both: digital for most guests, and a handful of printed cards for grandparents and anyone not keen on email. On Every Gathering you can send Save the Dates by email from the same place you'll later send invitations, so your guest list only needs entering once.
A few common mistakes
- Sending them before the venue is booked. If you only know the area, say the area. Don't name a venue you haven't confirmed.
- Getting the day of the week wrong. Check the date against a calendar for the right year. It happens more than you'd think.
- Forgetting to follow up. A save the date isn't an invitation. You still need to send the real thing, with RSVP details, later on.
- Overloading it. If it needs scrolling, it's too long.
One last thing
A save the date is the first thing your guests see of your event, so let it sound like you. Formal, playful or somewhere in between, the only thing it really has to get right is the date. Everything else can wait for the invitation.